Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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