haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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