I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
