im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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