lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
