Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
