C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
