Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
