Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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