he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
