There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I supernannyed him into submission
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
