happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Mom said you looked used
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
