butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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