She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
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