The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
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Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
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It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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