Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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