the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
