Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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