Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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