We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
