thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
