I'm really into asian looking animals
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
