This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
