So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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