Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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