I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
