Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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