I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My penis needs a shock collar
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
