I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
