i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
