After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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