remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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