Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
