I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
