And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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