i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
