i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
