I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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