my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just made my gag reflex go away.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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