ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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