i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
