The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I looked at my own cervix.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
