her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
