you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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