We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
