Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
