Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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