That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
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My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
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THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm too high and old for this...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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