Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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