at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
