it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
