The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
