I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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