Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize