he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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