I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
