You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
