And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
