yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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