The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
either way he was missing a nipple.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.