If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me