I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
