Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"

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(720): View more from Colorado

At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(305): View more from Florida

look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets

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(714): View more from California

He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

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(631): View more from New York

Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.

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(239): View more from Florida

Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.

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