is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
