when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.