Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up http://tfl.nu/2tfb
  Replies (21) Good night (587) Bad night (3024)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping. http://tfl.nu/7pjn
  Replies (47) Good night (3559) Bad night (1323)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer" http://tfl.nu/i0t9
  Replies (33) Good night (8406) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes. http://tfl.nu/41f8
  Replies (48) Good night (6107) Bad night (1290)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize http://tfl.nu/xooj
  Replies (17) Good night (4196) Bad night (1534)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL. http://tfl.nu/v9rp
  Replies (2) Good night (2630) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/ubnw
  Replies (3) Good night (916) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand. http://tfl.nu/jlfn
  Replies (23) Good night (875) Bad night (3209)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity? http://tfl.nu/jd0w
  Replies (10) Good night (2711) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best http://tfl.nu/exu8
  Replies (6) Good night (1656) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here. http://tfl.nu/svec
  Replies (6) Good night (866) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd. http://tfl.nu/04nl
  Replies (8) Good night (908) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...? http://tfl.nu/6jqe
  Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good. http://tfl.nu/87eb
  Replies (6) Good night (344) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing? http://tfl.nu/5f4v
  Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (275)

Randomize