Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
