none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
