I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
