I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
