I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I think pants incapable of making pants work
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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